...but I think I'll be single forever - and that's ok.
Life isn't really that complicated. We're born; we live for awhile; then we die. The first people we meet are our parents (after the doctor or birth coach or whatever) and that, for the most part, is a pretty uncomplicated relationship. They feed us, clothe us, bathe us and prepare us for the big scary world - kinda.
I'm a worrier. I don't often like to admit that, but I am. When I was a teenager, I used to worry that my parents were going to die in a car accident. Now I'm mostly worried about happiness of the people around me. I'm extremely impacted by the emotions of others. I don't even mean or want to be most of the time, but if someone's down - I not only want, but need to see them happy; when there's tension floating in the air, you can be rest assured that my stomach is in knots. Sleep is often an issue.
The obvious thing to do would just be to stop....if only it were that easy.
Having said all of that, when I'm so wrapped up in my worried head all the time, it makes it hard to let go and open myself up for love. Maybe I've watched too many romantic comedies, or have a bit of a Prince Charming complex, but I've always believed that someone would tear down the armour I shield myself with and force me to see the light. Reality tells me that's not going to happen. People always say love strikes them when they least expect it, but I don't know. I feel like I develop these feelings for men, and instead of following the normal path of flirting, or whatever, I over-think until I'm incapable of even formulating sentences... and when I do, they're the least flirtatious or romantic things I could possibly say, which is why I'm destined for a life of being single.
I still feel, and have crushes and I'm pretty sure I want to be in love, but sometimes I feel like a sad robot. That's really silly, I realize...but alas - so am I.
If by chance you read this, I like you. I look forward to walking by your office, and when your door is open, it makes my heart smile - and when you say hello, my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. How do I let you know?
Friday, April 1, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
au'revoir 2010, bonjour 2011!!
You say goodbye, and I say hello, hello hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello.
To my family: thank you for always being there and for making me who I am.
To my friends: I love you all dearly. Thank you for making my life great! Please do the right thing, and if you don't, do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
To my foe: thank you for keeping me on my toes.
To 2010: whoa! what a year.
To 2011: bring it on, whatever it may be.
To my past: may you continue to teach.
To my present: what a gift.
To my future: it's with an open heart and an open mind that I move forward.
To my family: thank you for always being there and for making me who I am.
To my friends: I love you all dearly. Thank you for making my life great! Please do the right thing, and if you don't, do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
To my foe: thank you for keeping me on my toes.
To 2010: whoa! what a year.
To 2011: bring it on, whatever it may be.
To my past: may you continue to teach.
To my present: what a gift.
To my future: it's with an open heart and an open mind that I move forward.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Dear Blog
It seems I have been neglecting you as of late. It's not that I don't have anything to say, trust me.
I am filled with opinions on love, politics, friendship, work and many things in between.
Though I got my start with you, it seems my opinion writing is printed weekly in the newspaper. You allowed me to rant when I needed it most, and I'm sorry for leaving you behind.
Here are 10 personal truths running through my brain currently:
1) A facebook friend request is not a marriage proposal. Don't worry about it.
2) Social networking is a two-way street. When you open up the flood-gates, you can't control what might spill out.
3) I want/need to write the novel in my head; however, I am afraid.
4) Seeing a happy couple get married inspires me, but doesn't make me jealous.
5) I miss being a journalist. I'm not sure it's possible to go back. In fact, I know it's impossible.
6) I need to travel. There's no good reason why I can't travel more often.
7) I love my family.
8) I love my friends.
9) It's tough learning who you can count on and who you can't.
10)It's also a tough lesson learning that it's as important to be a solid post for someone to lean on, as it is for them to be your post. Both increase strength.
11)I'm not ready to settle down.
12)I have no idea what's next!
13)I'm ok with that.
I am filled with opinions on love, politics, friendship, work and many things in between.
Though I got my start with you, it seems my opinion writing is printed weekly in the newspaper. You allowed me to rant when I needed it most, and I'm sorry for leaving you behind.
Here are 10 personal truths running through my brain currently:
1) A facebook friend request is not a marriage proposal. Don't worry about it.
2) Social networking is a two-way street. When you open up the flood-gates, you can't control what might spill out.
3) I want/need to write the novel in my head; however, I am afraid.
4) Seeing a happy couple get married inspires me, but doesn't make me jealous.
5) I miss being a journalist. I'm not sure it's possible to go back. In fact, I know it's impossible.
6) I need to travel. There's no good reason why I can't travel more often.
7) I love my family.
8) I love my friends.
9) It's tough learning who you can count on and who you can't.
10)It's also a tough lesson learning that it's as important to be a solid post for someone to lean on, as it is for them to be your post. Both increase strength.
11)I'm not ready to settle down.
12)I have no idea what's next!
13)I'm ok with that.
Monday, June 21, 2010
I'll give this a whirl: 99 things
Bolded are the things I've done. Try this. Thanks m.
1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band
4. visited hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more to charity than you could afford to
7. been to disney8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis
10. sung a solo
11. bungee jumped
12. visited Paris
13. watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb
26. gone skinny dipping
27. run a marathon
28. ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset
31. hit a home run
32. been on a cruise
33. seen niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. seen an amish community
36. taught yourself a new language
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person
39. gone rock climbing
40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. sung karaoke
42. seen old faithful erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. visited africa
45. walked on a beach by moonlight
46. been transported in an ambulance
47. had your portrait painted - (drawn)
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the sistine chapel in person
50. been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud
54. gone to a drive-in theater
55. been in a movie
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies
62. gone whale watching
63. gotten flowers for no reason
64. donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. been sky diving
66. visited a concentration camp
67. bounced a check
68. flown in a helicopter
69. saved a favorite childhood toy
70. visited the lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar
72. pieced a quilt
73. stood in times square
74. toured the everglades
75. been fired from a job
76. seen the changing of the guard in London
77. broken a bone
78. been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. seen the grand canyon in person
80. published a book
81. visited the Vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper -
85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. saved someone’s life
90. sat on a jury
91. met someone famous
92. joined a book club
93. gotten a tattoo
94. had a baby
95. seen the Alamo in person
96. swam in the great salt lake
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee
1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band
4. visited hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more to charity than you could afford to
7. been to disney8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis
10. sung a solo
11. bungee jumped
12. visited Paris
13. watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb
26. gone skinny dipping
27. run a marathon
28. ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset
31. hit a home run
32. been on a cruise
33. seen niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. seen an amish community
36. taught yourself a new language
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person
39. gone rock climbing
40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. sung karaoke
42. seen old faithful erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. visited africa
45. walked on a beach by moonlight
46. been transported in an ambulance
47. had your portrait painted - (drawn)
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the sistine chapel in person
50. been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud
54. gone to a drive-in theater
55. been in a movie
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies
62. gone whale watching
63. gotten flowers for no reason
64. donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. been sky diving
66. visited a concentration camp
67. bounced a check
68. flown in a helicopter
69. saved a favorite childhood toy
70. visited the lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar
72. pieced a quilt
73. stood in times square
74. toured the everglades
75. been fired from a job
76. seen the changing of the guard in London
77. broken a bone
78. been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. seen the grand canyon in person
80. published a book
81. visited the Vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper -
85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. saved someone’s life
90. sat on a jury
91. met someone famous
92. joined a book club
93. gotten a tattoo
94. had a baby
95. seen the Alamo in person
96. swam in the great salt lake
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee
Saturday, March 27, 2010
dear sister
It seems as though I left you off of my birthday thank you list.
I'm thankful for you every day. The things I learned because of your sheer existence astounds me on a regular basis. You taught me how to share and that I wasn't the centre of the universe and that was without even trying.
Now, as adults, you level out my drama and sometimes even cook me supper. I feel so blessed to have a sister who is, not only super smart and kind, but also honest. I value your opinions greatly and I couldn't think of a better person to call one of my best friends.
Mom used to say, "well, i love you, but i don't have to like you all thetime" well sister, I do love you and I like you too! i'm glad we live in the same town.
moo sistah forever!
I'm thankful for you every day. The things I learned because of your sheer existence astounds me on a regular basis. You taught me how to share and that I wasn't the centre of the universe and that was without even trying.
Now, as adults, you level out my drama and sometimes even cook me supper. I feel so blessed to have a sister who is, not only super smart and kind, but also honest. I value your opinions greatly and I couldn't think of a better person to call one of my best friends.
Mom used to say, "well, i love you, but i don't have to like you all thetime" well sister, I do love you and I like you too! i'm glad we live in the same town.
moo sistah forever!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
flip turned upside down
this blog's a story all about how
my job got flip turned upside down
now i'd like to take a minute
just sit right there
i'll tell you all a little story
about the writer katelin dean
in saint john new brunswick
born and raised
in the band class
is where i spent most of my days
playin' hardcore
on the slide trombone
then stoppin' some white balls
in the soccer field
when a few years later
i picked up a pen
jotted a few lines
then i began again
wrote one little poem
and i changed my mind
said i'm going to unbsj
english will be fine
not too long after
i was flipping boards
selling wee deckscrews and power tools
all at the same time
i kept writin' my rhymes
and realized soon
i had to find more time
short months later
i was at nbcc
tryin' my hand at radio and tv
soon found out
the pen still called my name
started at the paper
and things were never the same
now i'm winnin' awards
and gettin' new jobs
with lots mo' cash
and my own four walls
i thought man forget it
go home write for the college
my job got flip turned upside down
now i'd like to take a minute
just sit right there
i'll tell you all a little story
about the writer katelin dean
in saint john new brunswick
born and raised
in the band class
is where i spent most of my days
playin' hardcore
on the slide trombone
then stoppin' some white balls
in the soccer field
when a few years later
i picked up a pen
jotted a few lines
then i began again
wrote one little poem
and i changed my mind
said i'm going to unbsj
english will be fine
not too long after
i was flipping boards
selling wee deckscrews and power tools
all at the same time
i kept writin' my rhymes
and realized soon
i had to find more time
short months later
i was at nbcc
tryin' my hand at radio and tv
soon found out
the pen still called my name
started at the paper
and things were never the same
now i'm winnin' awards
and gettin' new jobs
with lots mo' cash
and my own four walls
i thought man forget it
go home write for the college
Thursday, March 11, 2010
thankful
one. thankful for having so many lovely friends.
two. thankful for my super fulfilling job.
three. thankful for my roommates.
four. thankful for my parents and everything they've given me.
five. thankful for friends who can cook.
six. thankful for RiVA.
seven. thankful for NBCC.
eight. thankful for Theresa Blackburn.
nine. thankful for the column I write, which prevents me from updating this regularly.
ten. thankful for being back on stage.
Ultimately, I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for all of the people in it - friend or foe - because without you, I wouldn't be me. happy birthday to me because Your presence is present enough!
two. thankful for my super fulfilling job.
three. thankful for my roommates.
four. thankful for my parents and everything they've given me.
five. thankful for friends who can cook.
six. thankful for RiVA.
seven. thankful for NBCC.
eight. thankful for Theresa Blackburn.
nine. thankful for the column I write, which prevents me from updating this regularly.
ten. thankful for being back on stage.
Ultimately, I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for all of the people in it - friend or foe - because without you, I wouldn't be me. happy birthday to me because Your presence is present enough!
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