Grief

Giving grief, getting grief and grieving.
I've never really thought much about the connection before.
This world is full of unfortunate incidents: people die, people get hurt, people do bad things. The world is also full of wonderful things and in my opinion, I see so many more of those. At least that's what I try to see.
We all have instances of loss in our lives and people deal with them in different ways.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I'm in an industry where my job is to report news.
A car accident where the driver ends up dead is news. It's unfortunate, and if I had control over the world, I'd never report it because it would never happen.
When these things happen, people are continually looking for answers. My job is to communicate those answers as factually and responsibly as humanly possible. Many avenues are used to get to this point (police reports, fire reports, etc.) I do believe there are problems in the journalism industry - too much sensationalism sometimes, which can cause desensitization.
We're coming upon the eighth anniversary of 9/11, and I'll never forget the first time I saw footage of an airplane crashing into a building. Now,due to incessant replays of the tragic incident, it's so much a part of our lives that it doesn't even seem real. Occasionally we journalists who are trying to find balance between respect and news get grief because of the sensationalists out there.
This weekend there was a tragic car accident. From the time I heard about it, I felt sick about it. It wasn't someone I was close friends with, but a human life just the same. He lived a hard, fast life with many hinderences. Some would argue these hinderences were his own fault - I believe accidents are called accidents for a reason. No one sets out to lose the use of their legs, or hurt their friends, or wrap their cars around trees - NO ONE. He is someone's son, someone's sibling and someone's friend. No one can ever take their grief away.
Out of grief, I'm sure, one of his friends made the decision to send me a nasty note.
This is where the giving grief comes in. This friend took his grief and, instead of dealing with it, felt the need to, not only share, but inflict his pain on me. It didn't feel good, to say the least, but I understand. I truly hope it made him feel better, though it likely did not. I hope someday he develops better coping mechanisms than unkind words and copious amounts of mind-numbing substance. I have no control over that. Everyone has their choices to make and crosses to bear - I sure as hell have mine.