I am an open person. I don't have many secrets (especially not after my documentary screening the other night). Thank you to everyone who came. I truly felt loved.
I feel like there are a few things that I can't express, despite my typically open attitude. My reasons for keeping the secrets I have are for the sake of protecting those around me. Sometimes it's hard to hold everything inside. But, I have to.
No good could come from saying everything. I mean, that's why we, as human beings, have filters. A wise friend of mine recently said (in a blog) to seize the day. I'm not sure what, if any, good could come from spilling my guts on this one.
I also think it's impossible to keep things in completely. It really hurts to do that. So, alas, I'm using this forum to speak in circles. I would apologize for this; however, I find myself apologizing a lot lately, and I'm not really sure why. I wonder if using those two words so often negates their meaning.
Sometimes I wish I could scream and yell and get angry, but that's not me. And I don't really feel like that. I think my empathy for others (including the people who hurt me sometimes) makes me understand why people do the things they do. Thus, I can justify it in my mind, thus I can't get angry. I just hurt.
This certainly isn't an indication of how I feel all the time....just right now. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I just needed to write this.
xoxox
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