There's really nothing quite like the feeling of having a crush on someone. Your heart skips a beat when you accidentally (or not-so-accidentally) touch or your cheeks flush when he says your name. The excitement of wondering when you'll see him again is reason enough to get through the day.
After this stage, things have the tendency to get complicated.
But the crush, oh the crush is a wonderful thing. So fresh, so new.
Unless it's not new.
What if this crush has caught you completely by surprise?
Say this person, this man, who you once had a crush on is now a great friend (who admittedly you don't spend enough time with. Months pass, and then, on a winter's day you run into him in some lunchtime establishment, and you find yourself giving him a hug. Completely normal, right?
A week later, you spot him online on the internet and feel compelled to say hello to this old friend. The conversation is pleasant and you decide to go see a movie (the sappiest of sappy sad romantic movies that inevitably make you cry). This friend/former crush comforts you, rubs your arm, then all of a sudden you're holding hands. The act in itself is quite innocent, it's what happens inside of you.
All of the heart flutters are back, but it's different this time. You don't have a crush on what you think this person might be, you have a crush on this person you know well.
Spending time is comfortable and somehow newly exciting. And you second-guess your feelings because it would be absolutely crazy to feel this way again. Seriously. Seriously.
It doesn't make any sense...
well blogosphere, in case you didn't figure it out, the you in this scenario is me.
Happy (completely commercial and overrated) Valentine's Day.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
New Beginnings and Fresh Starts
I started this blog about a year ago as part of a school assignment. Before then, I thought blogs were the worst thing on the face of the planet. I thought they were self-indulgent (which they are) and I used to think that people who spilled their guts on the internet should invest in a diary. Alas, I'm again wrong. Well, maybe I'm not, but I do it anyway.
In the past year, I made a documentary about myself and how I was bullied in school, I've had a nervous break down, I've gained more friends than I've ever had in my entire life, I've begun working, I've let myself get angry and hurt for stupid reasons, I've fallen in love, I've had my heart broken, I've travelled to Nicaragua, I've helped organize a successful Arts festival in a small town and more.
Also in the past year, what began as a school project (this blog) has been used as a way to communicate deep feelings and as a promotional tool to entice people to go to the previously mentioned Arts Festival. It's truly wonderful that this forum exists.
Today, I changed its layout to reflect me. Blue is my favourite colour. My life isn't blue. Actually, my life is probably more frantic like red or orange. Sometimes I feel blue, but I generally appear pretty sunshiny like yellow. Ultimately, the last year has taught me how to be me. I'm still learning how to do that every day...but it's a comin'.
A former classmate/friend is currently making a documentary about me. In his proposal, he described me as stressful, frantic (or some word like that) and happy-go-lucky. It's a pretty funny and apt description.
Dear Friends (you know who you are), so happy for you. :) And I'm happy for me too. I'm so happy to have so many wonderful people in my life. When I'm feeling blue, it's good to know that I have people to turn to.
For awhile, it seems, I've been "lookin' for love in all the wrong places" and there have been plenty of fine guys with fine faces, but none have faced my way. And that's ok.
To conclude...if your patient enough to continue to check this blog, this is for you...a little diddy I used to listen to on a weekly basis:
Thank you for bein' a friend
Travelled down the road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante
If you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see
The biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for bein' a friend
In the past year, I made a documentary about myself and how I was bullied in school, I've had a nervous break down, I've gained more friends than I've ever had in my entire life, I've begun working, I've let myself get angry and hurt for stupid reasons, I've fallen in love, I've had my heart broken, I've travelled to Nicaragua, I've helped organize a successful Arts festival in a small town and more.
Also in the past year, what began as a school project (this blog) has been used as a way to communicate deep feelings and as a promotional tool to entice people to go to the previously mentioned Arts Festival. It's truly wonderful that this forum exists.
Today, I changed its layout to reflect me. Blue is my favourite colour. My life isn't blue. Actually, my life is probably more frantic like red or orange. Sometimes I feel blue, but I generally appear pretty sunshiny like yellow. Ultimately, the last year has taught me how to be me. I'm still learning how to do that every day...but it's a comin'.
A former classmate/friend is currently making a documentary about me. In his proposal, he described me as stressful, frantic (or some word like that) and happy-go-lucky. It's a pretty funny and apt description.
Dear Friends (you know who you are), so happy for you. :) And I'm happy for me too. I'm so happy to have so many wonderful people in my life. When I'm feeling blue, it's good to know that I have people to turn to.
For awhile, it seems, I've been "lookin' for love in all the wrong places" and there have been plenty of fine guys with fine faces, but none have faced my way. And that's ok.
To conclude...if your patient enough to continue to check this blog, this is for you...a little diddy I used to listen to on a weekly basis:
Thank you for bein' a friend
Travelled down the road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante
If you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see
The biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for bein' a friend
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