...but I think I'll be single forever - and that's ok.
Life isn't really that complicated. We're born; we live for awhile; then we die. The first people we meet are our parents (after the doctor or birth coach or whatever) and that, for the most part, is a pretty uncomplicated relationship. They feed us, clothe us, bathe us and prepare us for the big scary world - kinda.
I'm a worrier. I don't often like to admit that, but I am. When I was a teenager, I used to worry that my parents were going to die in a car accident. Now I'm mostly worried about happiness of the people around me. I'm extremely impacted by the emotions of others. I don't even mean or want to be most of the time, but if someone's down - I not only want, but need to see them happy; when there's tension floating in the air, you can be rest assured that my stomach is in knots. Sleep is often an issue.
The obvious thing to do would just be to stop....if only it were that easy.
Having said all of that, when I'm so wrapped up in my worried head all the time, it makes it hard to let go and open myself up for love. Maybe I've watched too many romantic comedies, or have a bit of a Prince Charming complex, but I've always believed that someone would tear down the armour I shield myself with and force me to see the light. Reality tells me that's not going to happen. People always say love strikes them when they least expect it, but I don't know. I feel like I develop these feelings for men, and instead of following the normal path of flirting, or whatever, I over-think until I'm incapable of even formulating sentences... and when I do, they're the least flirtatious or romantic things I could possibly say, which is why I'm destined for a life of being single.
I still feel, and have crushes and I'm pretty sure I want to be in love, but sometimes I feel like a sad robot. That's really silly, I realize...but alas - so am I.
If by chance you read this, I like you. I look forward to walking by your office, and when your door is open, it makes my heart smile - and when you say hello, my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. How do I let you know?
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If your true goal is to simply let him know, the most direct way is to simply tell him. But that, of course, is a thousand times easier said than done, unfortunately :( But I'd say if that's what you want then bite the bullet.
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